Graveyard Shift is an episodic supernatural comedy. This episodes stands on its own, but you can read and listen to episodes 1 & 2 below.
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Property Dispute
Pink clouds swirled across the navy blue sky as twilight touched the cemetery.
Smith knocked on the serpentine top of McQueen’s black granite headstone. “Rise and shine, Rookie. We’re on duty.”
A shadow emerged from the ground and corporealized into the form of McQueen. He stretched. “What’s the situation?”
“Disturbance at the Section 3 lots,” Smith said.
“Finally some action!” McQueen’s eyes shimmered.
“Don’t get too excited, Rookie. We’re settling a property dispute.”
The officers marched past a sea of headstones. Resident spirits gathered around the commotion. McQueen pushed the onlookers aside and approached the two spirits arguing over a freshly filled grave, flashing his ethereal badge. “Alright everyone, alright alright. Excuse me, excuse me. Settle down, settle down. Settle down!”
“What took you so long? Dead pigs can’t fly?” The spirit on the neighboring plot spat at the officers.
McQueen scowled, but Smith kept his composure.
“Why are you causing a disturbance, Gerald?” Smith asked.
“Causing a disturbance? Is that what the law calls standing up against injustice?” Gerald shook his thin cane.
“You can’t harass me and call it injustice, GERALD!” the second spirit said.
“Bah! Officer, this man has been trespassing on my property and has the gall to call my objections harassment.” Gerald stomped his cane into the grass.
McQueen stepped between the two spirits and held his palms up.
Smith sighed. “Enough. You will answer my questions, one at a time, Gerald! Go ahead, you have seniority...”
The spirit standing on the fresh plot interrupted. “But he st —”
“I said enough!” Smith’s voice boomed across the cemetery. “Gerald, what’s the issue?”
“This shade of a specter —”
Smith shook his head. “Gerald, you know better. Speak with some civility, or I won’t hear your side.”
Gerald held back a retort. “Fine. This... fellow... He doesn’t respect my property line. I’ve told him time and time again to refrain from stepping over my grave, and THIS... this young dear fellow continues to trespass.”
“You’re a damn liar!” the second spirit shouted.
“Whoa!” McQueen glanced at Smith in shock as the crowd of onlookers collectively gasped.
McQueen rushed the spirit, stepping on his grave. “We don’t use that word here... Ever.”
The new ghost took a step back with his palms raised. “Liar?”
The onlookers shouted,
“No!”
“Da—”
McQueen slammed his hand against the spirit’s mouth. “Never.”
The spirit muffled a reply. “OK, OK...” McQueen lowered his hand. “Understood.”
“We haven’t met.” Smith placed his hand on McQueen’s shoulder and guided him aside. “I’m Officer Smith, and this is my partner, Officer McQueen. Please state your name for the record.”
“What record?”
“State your name, Spirit.” McQueen clenched his fists.
“Tommy. Tommy Gallo.”
Smith pulled out a small notebook. “Date of Death.”
“Just read my headst—”
“DATE. OF. DEATH.” McQueen interrupted.
“Calm down, Rookie,” Smith said.
“The twenty seventh.”
“How long ago was that?”
“I’m not sure... Yesterday?”
Smith shared a glance with McQueen. “How did you pass?”
“I... don’t know. I was at work. Then I was here.”
“Boy, you’ve been here longer than that! And you call me a liar?” Gerald’s cane shook as he spoke.
McQueen glared at Gerald.
“He’s been here for a week, and he’s already trespassing! Aren’t you going to ask him about that?”
“Tell me your side, Tommy. In detail.” Smith continued to jot down notes.
“This old geezer started yelling at me when I stepped off my grave. Shouting about me being on his property, but we’re dead, right? I thought we couldn’t take anything with us?”
“Show me.” Smith put down his notebook, and it dissipated.
Tommy stepped off his grave and took two steps past his head stone.
Gerald perked up. “See!”
“That’s not your property, Gerald.”
Gerald gasped. “I should have known a dead pig wouldn’t understand the basic fundamentals of property ownership. My property starts at the mid point of our graves.” Gerald faced the onlookers. “Is there a property lawyer amongst us?”
“Gerald, the only thing you own is your grave. That’s 3ft by 9ft by 6ft. Everything else belongs to the cemetery. It’s public land. He can step off his grave just as you can. Stop trying to hustle your freshman neighbor.” The notebook reappeared. Smith tore out a page, then handed it to Gerald.
“What’s this?” Gerald squinted at the paper.
“Eight coins for causing a disturbance.”
Gerald hacked in surprise.
“And another eight for calling me a pig… twice. You better pay The House before 3am.”
Gerald waved off Smith in annoyance, balled up the paper, and tossed it. It reformed and hovered over his head. “Well, ants have moved to my grave when they dug his grave. Make him take his ants back. They’re picking at my bones.”
“They’re your ants now, Gerald. Like you said, they moved in when they dug his grave, not after. Possess the queen and make them move, or take them in as your pets. Stop harassing your neighbor. You know what it’s like to be a freshman. You better get used to each other. You’re eternal neighbors for Heaven’s sake.”
Smith faced the freshman spirit. “Tommy, listen closely. Do you have any coins?”
“Y-yeah, I think, Officer.”
“Good, this is the most important thing anyone will tell you. You are forgetting things, Tommy. It’s possible that you will forget everything, but it won’t matter as long as you remember one thing. Collect 88 coins. Once you have them, you will have enough to pay the Ferryman. That’s your ticket out of here. Do you understand?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Good. Welcome to the afterlife.”
Smith turned around and walked past the graves. McQueen followed.
“Why is he already losing himself, Smith?”
“I’m not sure. But I’ll place my bet on an instant death. From head trauma.”
They continued walking in silence as the first stars of the night pierced the sky.
“Smith, I’ve never asked, but... How did you die?”
“Not today, Rookie.”
A huge thanks to all the voice actors!
Tevin - Gerald
Johnny Jimenez - Officer McQueen
Ace YMG - Officer Smith
Danny Maldonado - Narrator & Tommy Gallo
Music from artlist.com by Daniella Tourgeman - The Longer I Wait
Table of Contents [Start Here]
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Nice one.
The voice over is so good. Bringing back the radio play!